Beautiful Letdowns
by LiviotMaristopher
Summary: After being with you for eight years, all the clichés suddenly make sense
1. Agony of a Forbidden Romance

A/N: First off, I would like to apologize for not updating anything in like three months. I have been busy with life, school, and reading some really great stories. I know that my material won't be as great as others, but bare with me, at least you get a kick out of my username.

Disclaimer: I do not own Elliot, Olivia, or anyone else you recognize

Elliot walked into the precinct Monday morning after a long and dreadful weekend. He had finally signed the divorce papers on Friday and he thought he would be happy, but he wasn't. Not only was his family life changing for the worse, but also his friendship with Olivia was still on the rocks. Ever since she came back from her undercover job, their relationship changed. They hardly "talked" to each other, even in passing, and they were constantly down each other's throats. Just as Elliot was sitting down, Olivia walked in. They glanced at each other, knowing that it was going to be a long day.

_I stare at you from across the room Wondering if you are thinking the same as I am_

"Hey Liv."

"Hey."

That was the only thing that they said to each other the entire time they were working. The dark hours of night finally swirled in and Olivia decided to call it a day. She got up to leave, but Elliot stopped her.

"Can I talk to you?" Elliot asked apprehensively.

"Why?" Olivia merely replied.

"Why do you deflect my questions with statements?"

"Why do you deflect my statements with questions?"

While thinking of an answer, Elliot took a longing glance at Olivia. Her appearance had changed greatly. Her hair was a lighter shade of brown and it was curled lightly on her shoulders. Her eyes were the same shade as they always were, but today, they looked like a haunting abyss of darkness. In his mind, she was beautiful. Elliot got a surprised look on his face when he came to the realization that after eight years of partnership, he loved her. He was in love with Olivia Benson.

_These feelings for you are strong and painful_

Like a heavy weight on the world around me   
"Elliot!" 

"Huh…what?" Elliot was so caught up in the beauty of his partner, that he never answered her question.

"I asked why…"

"I know what you asked and to tell you the truth, I really don't know."

Olivia was surprised, shocked to say the least. Elliot was the one who usually had the answers to her questions. She just looked at him and he looked like he was going to say something, but he didn't say anything.

_Though it is waiting on your lips, it will never seek_

_It will never find the true moment in time_

_For it will always be lost and forgotten_

"Elliot, what is it?" Olivia asked worriedly.

"Nothing…its just…why did you leave? We've been partners for eight years and we've had plenty of issues between us, but none were so huge that you had to leave SVU."

"I had to Elliot. The feds…"

"Don't blame this on the feds, Liv. You had a choice and you took the easy way out. I didn't want you to leave, but you obviously think otherwise."

Olivia began to have tears in her eyes and she tried to turn away. Elliot saw this and he immediately began to feel bad.

"Liv, I…"

"No Elliot, don't. You've said your piece and now I know how you really feel." Olivia said as she ran up to the cribs and before Elliot could catch her, she slammed the door in his face.

They both stood there on each side of the door, crying soft tears. They both knew, right then and there that they just lost the most important thing in their lives: each other.

THE NEXT DAY

Elliot woke up to the morning light shining through the windows of the precinct. He remembered what had happened last night and where Olivia was. He softly knocked on the door of the crib and when no one responded, he went in. Olivia wasn't up against the door like he thought she was. She was in one of the beds, sleeping soundly. He immediately felt bad for what he said to her last night and he wanted to apologize for his behavior. He was going to leave her alone when something caught his eye. There, by her side, was a tablet of paper with something written on it. He picked it up and read it. It was a poem about somebody, but he couldn't figure out whom. He couldn't believe that Olivia could've written something so good, not that he ever doubted her talents, but he was just so amazed by this, that it made him tear up a bit.

_I can't wait for this any longer _

_But I must hold back_

_For the sake of us and our relationship_

The fear of hurt and guilt rises along with love and passion 

_The dream of us being one is severed_

_Along with the friendships of others and the rest of the human race_

_It may seem surreal but I think it could work between us_

_I just hope it won't turn around and bite me back_

_But with us being from two separate worlds, it probably will_

_I can't possibly live another hour, minute, second without you_

_For now though, it will have to suffice_

_I know in my heart that there will always be love for each other_

_But it can't happen, it won't happen, it shouldn't happen_

_Cause the agony of forbidden love keeps going and going forever_

After reading this, he knew that it was about him. A tear silently rolled down his face when he realized how much pain and horrid he put into her eyes. He left a little note by her poem and he left the crib, silently regretting everything horrible and hurtful he said to her.

Olivia began to stir out of her sleep. She realized where she was and all of yesterday's events started to wash over her. Right next to her was the tablet that held her declaration of love and she saw that something else was on there. She picked it up and as she was reading it, she started to cry.

**Liv, **

**As I was reading this, I realized that I was completely out of line during our argument last night. I am truly sorry if I had caused you any pain and if you want a new partner, I understand. Just remember that someone will always love you, no matter what and the agony will end if you find the right person. I know I have.**

**Love always,**

**Elliot**

Olivia dried her eyes and she ran out of the crib and she went to the one place that she knew he would be. She opened the door to the roof and she saw him standing there in complete silence. She walked up to him and started talking.

"I'm sorry El. I should have known that you were always on my side. You are the only person that I trust enough to talk to and I blew that chance last night. I honestly can't say why I acted the way I acted, but I know that I was overreacting. You probably hate me right now and…"

Olivia never got to finish her speech because Elliot turned her around and he kissed her. His lips were soft over hers and he was gentle. His hands traveled south and he held her hands, letting their fingers entwine. Olivia kissed him back and the kiss got deeper. They stayed in the same position until oxygen was a definite need and they separated. Elliot looked at Olivia, who still had her eyes closed. She finally opened them and she was surprised.

"Wow. I…I…I…" Olivia tried to finish her sentence but she was unable to.

"Love you" Elliot finished for her.

Olivia began to blush deeply and she turned away. Elliot turned her around and saw the look in her eyes. She looked dazed and confused, like she just came out of a maze of passion.

"I…I…Luh…Love you too." Olivia said silently, but Elliot heard it.

"Liv, you don't have to be afraid. I won't hurt you. I…"

Elliot never finished his statement because this time, Olivia kissed him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and the kiss got deeper yet again. They separated again and they shared small, passionate kisses to show their love for one another.

"You know what they say El, good things come to those…who… wait." Olivia said in between kisses. She kissed him fully one last time before she hugged him tightly. He responded by hugging her back and whispering something in her ear.

"You will always be my beautiful letdown."

A/N: Huh…huh…do you like it???? I honestly tried to do good on this one. The phrases in italic were actually my own work. They were part of a poem that I wrote so I dissected it and I put some of the good lines in here. Review if you want more. I will try to make this into a series of songfics and good stuff like that. Okay…read and review…reviews make me happy on the inside…especially when they are good


	2. Fall to Pieces

A/N: Thanx to those who reviewed on the first chapter. Again, I am sorry that I haven't updated in awhile. I was in my high school production of Beauty and the Beast and that took up a major wad of time. Also, I had to go to school for three Saturdays in a row because we had one too many snow days. I am on spring break right now so I figured that I should update this. Anyways, this chapter goes out to my friend Livnel4ever simply because I love her writing and her stories rock my socks.

Disclaimer: I do not own SVU but if I did…all hell would break loose!!!!!!!!!!!!

Olivia and Elliot were working on a case that put them both through the emotional wringer. The case dealt with a fifteen-year-old girl who was the daughter of one of Manhattan's Narcotics detectives. She was raped, beaten, and tortured until she was found this dead that morning. SVU took the case to the top of the stack. Olivia was reading the casefile, trying to find a hidden lead as to where this sick freak was. She started to get frustrated and Elliot saw this.

"Liv, you okay?"

"No, not really"

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Its just…this case is really getting to me, that's all."

Elliot glanced at Olivia and they stared at each other for what seemed like the longest time. It was like time had stopped and it was only they sitting there, staring, watching each other, hoping the other didn't walk away. Olivia turned her head away for a sheer moment out of embarrassment and as she turned back, she noticed that Elliot was going to say something, but he didn't

"What?" Olivia asked Elliot apprehensively.

"Nothing…it's just…nothing."

"Why won't you talk to me? I won't judge you. I promise."

Elliot looked in her eyes and he saw that she was telling him the God-honest truth. He decided to say what he wanted to say before she would find out otherwise.

"Kathy and I divorced. The papers went through all the way."

Olivia looked at him in disbelief. She knew that he went back home to try to settle things but she thought that they got past their differences. Boy, was she wrong! She settled by saying the only thing she could think of at the current moment.

"Why are you telling me this?"

This time, Elliot looked at her in shock. He thought that Olivia, out of all people, would care. She just said that she wouldn't judge him, but now Elliot thought she was a hell of a liar.

"I thought that you would care."

"Why should I? You seem to keep changing your mind about this so why should I care? Because I have to take the fall for you every time you get pissed off at a perp? Because of the fact that no matter what I do to try to make you see that you are not the lesser of two evils, you always push me away. Because when I say that I understand what you're going though, you start your whole tirade about me not having an idea when I actually do? After all that heartbreak, do you think that I would care? No, I really wouldn't." Olivia immediately left.

Elliot stood there for a moment before he went outside to find Olivia. He saw her inside her car, crying. Seeing that, he felt bad because he made her cry and over their almost nine year partnership, he has never done that before. He opened her car door, pulled her out and hugged her tightly as she sobbed into his shirt.

"Shhhhh Liv, don't cry. Please don't cry. If it makes you feel any better, you look beautiful when you cry."

Olivia looked up at him with tears still rolling down her face and asked, "I…I…I do?"

"Would I lie to you? Never.", Elliot said to her in a serious tone and before she could say anything, he continued on, "I am sorry that I made you feel like less of the woman that you are. I just thought that I would be less of a burden to you if I shut you out of my life. I know now that I was wrong about you. You were…are the only one, and I do mean the only one, who truly cares about me. And for that, I love…"

"You. I…love…you…too." Olivia finished as they both leaned in and their lips met for the first time. Her lips were soft against his as the kiss was long and slow. He tried to pull away but she pulled him right back in and rotated him around so his back was to her car. The kiss quickly deepened, tongues were clashing, and Olivia started moaning. She pulled away fast and turned away.

"Liv, what's wrong?"

"I'm sorry Elliot. That's never happened before. I've never…felt…wow…I'm rambling." Olivia laughed.

The laugh was contagious because Elliot started to crack up along with Olivia. She lifted her head up to look at Elliot and as she was wiping away her tears of laughter, she found him staring at her. She began to blush out of self-consciousness and Elliot noticed this.

"Oh I get it, you are self-conscious."

Olivia's face turned even redder as he stated this. She started to turn away, but he caught her just in time.

"No…no Olivia don't run from me. I'm just saying…what's not to love about you? Your eyes, your smile, your inner beauty, you compassion. I love it all because it is apart of you. I hope that you will never change yourself because it won't be the same Olivia that I have grown to fall hopelessly in love with."

Her eyes began to pool with tears, but she stopped them before they actually streamed down her face. She didn't want Elliot to see her like that again, even though he basically said that he didn't care if she cried. Crying would only make her stronger, his words not hers. Olivia then thought of an idea. She locked up her car and held out her hand to Elliot. He took it apprehensively and followed her back into the precinct, up to the cribs.

"After what has happened to us tonight, I really don't want to go back to my lonely apartment. I was hoping that you would stay with me here."

"Liv, you know that I would. Why are you asking me?"

"Common courtesy."

"Since when do you have common cour…" Elliot stopped because Olivia kissed him. As he started to kiss back, she pulled away.

"Good night Elliot." Olivia said as she laid down on one of the beds.

"Night Liv." Elliot replied back while lying down on the bed next to hers. He wanted to hold her, but he didn't want to risk Cragen walking in on them in the morning. Besides, neither Elliot nor Olivia wanted to provide an explanation for their "current situation".

"I love you El."

His heart swelled when he heard that. Now he knew Olivia actually felt that way rather than the "spur of the moment" type of thing.

"I love you too Liv."

They both fell asleep with thoughts of the other in their heads and the faint music playing on in the background…

I don't want to fall to pieces 

_I just want to sit and stare at you_

_I don't want to talk about it_

_I don't want a conversation_

_I just want to cry in front of you_

_I don't want to talk about it _

_Cause I'm in love with you _

_I'm in love with you_

_I'm in love with you…_

A/N: This probably sucks ass but what can you do…just hope for the best. Read and Review, por favor?!?!?!?!? If you are interested, PM me some ideas for future fics…I'm open to all ideas…Just for the record, I only write EO stories, nothing else.


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